have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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