When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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