driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
