i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize