what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
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Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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