I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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