im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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