at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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