He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I enjoy the company of your penis
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
