i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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