you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
