Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
