she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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