there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
