Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
