I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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