I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
