Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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