I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
