that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I love you.
Bad choice
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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