so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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