Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i think i just lost a toe
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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