He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
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I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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