Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
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Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
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I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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