I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
