Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize