STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
