Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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