turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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