I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
