My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
