If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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