so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
