so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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