it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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