My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
