and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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