Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
