her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
