Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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