If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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