he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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