dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
nutella sex= disaster
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
