You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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