There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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