so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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