he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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