if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
