Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
