That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
