So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we made out on top of his cat.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
