Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
