Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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