Sry I called you an 8
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Randomize
