We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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