Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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