so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Your penis caused this!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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