are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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