you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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