Can Purell be used as lube?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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