Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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