Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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