that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize