she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize