Sry I called you an 8
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
