In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
