It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
